Just Say What You Mean.

Stop playing games.

The grands were visiting, and it was day three. They were just warming up and we were already showing our frayed edges of fatigue.

They were wired to push the boundaries of expectations and we were feeling the need to protect said boundaries.

She had a cup of grape juice. (Yes, I bought grape — deep, dark purple liquid — with unmatched staining potential.)

She knew we wanted her to stay in the kitchen. That was the rule. As Grandpa succinctly put it, “No running around with your drink.”

But she seemingly dismissed the rule. She was seemingly testing the borders. She knew we were softies with the rules sometimes.

He reminded her.

She didn’t listen.

He was tired and his patience was thin.

She was wide eyed and ready to go, 100% — full steam ahead.

What he said was, “What are you doing?” — when she showed up with her cup of potential, permanent disaster, but he could plainly see what she was doing. It was obvious and there was nothing to question.

What he meant was, “I already reminded you to not take your drink from the kitchen. So, you’d better mind the rule I’ve laid down.”

But why do we play the word riddle games with our littles? Why not just say in a cool, calm, yet “I do mean it” kind of way, “Take your drink back to the kitchen.”

Children don’t need to be belittled by making them state the obvious. They are already small and fully aware of their world being ruled by the big people in their lives — causing them to push back when being called to the carpet on their questionable actions.

Instead, just be steady. Just tell them in plain words. Lose the riddle. Don’t be cryptic. Don’t lose your cool in what could turn into a heated exchange.

Just be the wall when it comes to pushing boundaries. (Walls don’t easily move, and they don’t anger or play word games.)

Be consistent, with firmness, with no need for sarcasm or impatience. If it’s not going well look at your adult-self first. Maybe just a small tweak will make the change you're looking for.

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