Following My Truth

I was in a small gift shop in Tennessee when I was 23 or 24. I saw this small print on a shelf. It read, “She fell out of their graces, and into her truth.” I didn’t understand what those words meant at the time. But I knew they were important to me.

I bought the print and hung it on my bedroom wall. It stayed there for years. Reminding me that life is a journey. Full of many stories.

I bought that print shortly before my mom died. 12 years ago today.

The day the world changed colors. An Instagram filter over my eyes.

Everything became clearer.

More real.

More imminent.

I was only 25, and this wasn’t my first experience with the death of someone I loved.

But she was my mom.

And she was gone.

I’d spent my whole life trying to make her proud of me.

I remember going to a party when I was 17. Someone slipped something in my drink. Luckily, not everyone there were scumbags, and a couple of people dropped me off on my doorstep. They rang the bell and ran. All I remember was crying to my mom, as she carried me into the house, “I just want you to be proud of me.”

Somewhere around 30… after losing her, having a baby, and going through an ugly divorce… it sunk in that I had to start living for me.

I had to stop worrying about making anyone else happy. It didn’t sit well with everyone.

I’m living life for me. Living my truth.

That means sharing my stories.

It means helping others rise up.

Leaving a legacy for Spike and Shea.

Protecting my clients.

Helping others share their stories.

Bringing people together through my podcast.

Making sure the people I love, know it.

Saying no to things I don’t want to do.

Getting toxic people out of my life.

Some people, who I’d spent years trying to please, tell me they’re “disappointed” in me.

They tell me I’m selfish.

That they don’t get what I’m doing

And you know what? I’m perfectly okay with that. It may sting a little to hear. But if they can’t be happy for me, if they can’t accept me living my life on my terms, then they don’t have to share in my journey.

I’ve fallen out of their graces.

And into my truth.

And my truth is, I love this journey I’m on.

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